Sunday, July 3, 2011

Attached at the hip

I know this is a women blog, not a couple blog....but I want to take a moment to evaluate a question R man and I get asked a lot that had a very large impact on my travels as a women rockin the road.....

"How was it spending so much time together?"

Traveling as a couple, just like traveling solo has a lot of pros and cons and I'm now absolutely positive everyone handles it a little differently, (if they can handle it at all) cuz it does get crazy weird fast in the middle of nowhere, without a map, not speaking the language, with no clue where an ATM is, all while hungry and tired, looking at the other person with puppy dog eyes that hold a meaning of:
"You go ask!  I did it last time...besides, you smell better, they might just listen to you!"
(this happened more often then we'd both like to admit!)

First there's the basic communication stuff:

Our first day of travel, we quickly learned some simple guidelines with each other in deciding the basics: where we wanted to go that day, what restaurant to eat at, where to sleep and what form of transportation to all had to be discussed thoroughly over sometimes a period of days or weeks until we talked it to death.  When the moment happened when we didn't agree, it was like being in a three legged race wanting to go in two different directions at the same time, but never being allowed to untie our legs from one another with no foreseeable end date.

On a tough day, it could go like this:
person 1:  I want to go here!
person 2:  I don't.
person 1: Oh!  $%&*!

Most of the time, luckily, this didn't happen, because one of us (R man) would give in.  Hee hee hee.
When it was a tie, that meant we'd have to truly perfect our arguments to p.h.d. thesis level.
It's called: "Why my idea is so much better then yours!"
This could include references, weather conditions, pamphlets, 3rd party interviews, proof of educational potential, how much it cost and of course, because we love each other (awwww), it came down to who plain old wanted it more - comparing how much happiness one of us would feel by the other person giving in...a fine balance of happy karmic energy...of course there's cheating; fake tears, whining and some occasional swearing involved.  When it comes to pure love, nothing is off limits!

Then there's the freaky weird mind reading stuff:

We've definitely noticed some couple 'super powers' we now possess after so much time together...light years of normal couple time compacted into too much together time....powers we try to use for good and not so much evil....

  • We can press each other's nervous break down button's with a mere twitch of an eye brow and catch each other from freaking out with a slight wink and a nudge
  • Finishing each other's sentences and thoughts is a given, to the point where it's an effort and sometimes better not to!
  • We can have a screaming hysterics end of the world fight and kiss and make up in 5 minutes or less
  • Everything can be said with one look - getting the other person to actually look you in the eye - eh
  • We know what kind of mood the other person is in most of the time...sometimes an issue best left alone!
  • "Remember when that guy in that village did that thing with that avacado?"  "Yeah!  That was so cool!"    But also, "Remember when you did that thing I told you not to do, but you did it?!?"  "Uh...well...uh..."                                                                                                                      (I actually really love that we can do that, since my memory of names of persons/places/things is crap and R man is a walking dictionary of unnecessary/necessary knowledge!)
  • Have you seen those old couples sitting on a park bench not talking?  Yeah...we do that.  The best was when we went to eat at restaurants on the road...after spending all day together, asking about the other person's day was a bit redundant.  We'd eat in silence, commenting only on the food, the weather or the street scene in front of us and be perfectly happy about it....yes, in couple years, we are both 55!
Then there's the he/she stuff:

The basic fact is that different people have different interests when they travel....I'd like to say it's a gender thing, but I have no hard cold facts to prove these are truly boy/girl related tendencies.
(I could also just be a super lame-o traveler - you be the judge)

R man liked to stay busy and active, move more rapidly from city to city, do more adventurous sports and activities as well as see everything and anything possible and get it all done in just one day no problem, budget be damned!  (I'd call this cave man travel:...Ugh. Ugh.  Me want now!)

I tended to want a day of rest doing nothing once in awhile to catch up on reading and chilling out, didn't mind staying in a city or town for a week or more if the food was good, very rarely got bored just walking around and tended to avoid activities or transportation I thought might kill us or break the sacred budget.  So you see....a bit different!

It's all about values.  A little bit of both tended to be a good compromise for our quality of life.
Of course....perhaps my other half would see this all quite differently if he were writing....????
(But he's not!  BWA HA HA HA HA HA!)


Would I do it again with the same dude?  Absolutely!
Did I learn a lot about this dude?  No doubt!
Do I still like the dude?  Madly in love!

Granted, I've only had this one experience so far with just the one travel buddy....
I'd like to hear how other ladies 'deal' with who've traveled with, be it a significant other vs. going solo meeting strangers vs. with a friend and how they now feel about those experiences???

What they preferred/enjoyed more?    
Things they'd do differently?!? 
Still on speaking terms with travel buddy?
It's like that game of "stranded on a desert island" in a lot of ways...
If you could choose one person to be with on a desert island while having access to only one kind of powdered crap coffee to drink and no steady supply of mid western American dairy products for 5 months ...oh yeah...and no t.p.!  So.  How'd that all work out for ya?  

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